( 30 ) B.Ed. Result and my life in father's house
When I was in father's house, the neighbours who went through the mud road would ask me about the welfare of my family members. I would reply that everything was fine. But my heart was burning inside me. At that time, I had become very lean and this aroused doubts in their minds. They didn't know the fact that I had not taken any food from my house and in mother's house, I got very little. It was during the stay in father's house that I understood how much did father's brothers and sister hated him. "Our eldest brother will be declined forever ", I often heard this statement from the members of these families. At this moment, I remember another incident. It was when I was doing my B.Sc. IInd year. Then, someone from my paternal aunt's family came to our home in Kadayiruppu and when they returned, we ( I, my brother and my sister ) also went with them. There also, I heard this statement, "the eldest brother will be perished ". When they openly declared this statement, I realised that they would be happy to see the decline of my father.
However, the B.Ed. examination results were published and I scored 569 / 1000 ie. 56. 9 %. I was satisfied in my score because I knew that the marks of B.Sc. Course was also taken into consideration, to give the internal marks. I think no one in my B.Ed. College knew that I was a distinction holder in Std X. Our Principal Sister was very kind to me and she said that there were vacancies of Teachers in Punjab ( which is in the northern part of India ) and she recommended me also with some others, to the school there. When I went home and asked my father about this, he didn't respond to it. It was noontime and he was lying on the bed. When I repeated the question, he stood up and shouted, "Punjab - do you know how far it is ? Don't tell this to me a second time ". Yes - it was very far. I didn't have the courage to go alone.
I was in mother's house towards the end of that academic year. I had applied for the 'improvement ' examination of M A Course. One day, my sister brought a letter from Mahathma Gandhi University, Kottayam. In that letter, it was informed that some more money was to be remitted to appear for the examination. I was in tears in front of my sister. "My life has gone ", saying this, I threw it off to the cot. To my surprise, the next day, my sister brought the money required for the fee. Thus, I remitted the fee and waited. Now, I write this because if I had sufficient money with me, I might have gone to the headquarters of M G University because it stood on the route to my college - St Joseph's Training College, Mannanam.
I desired to stay in the hostel, to prepare for the examination because it was difficult to learn when I stayed in mother's house. When I thought about it, I got an idea - to go to Sithara hostel, tell everything to warden and promise her to give my golden chain as fee. I discussed this matter with my sister and she agreed. Both of us went to hostel, I explained that I could stay at least two months in hostel, otherwise I couldn't learn. I added that I was ready to give the chain instead of money. She agreed and said that she wouldn't ask the golden ornament on the joining date. She would ask it only after two months.
When did I went to hostel after that ? On March 1st or April 1st ? I think it was on April 1st. On that day, I went home and arranged all my books in two bags. My brother went to the autorickshaw stand and came with one. I, my brother and sister started our journey from my house to the hostel in Kothamangalam. My mother was waving her hands and my father had nothing to say. After reaching hostel, they returned in the same vehicle. I stood there for sometime till that vehicle had gone. My sister was fourteen years and brother nineteen. But to me, they seemed small children. It was always like that. Now, a question would arouse in your mind - "how did my sister and brother live in the house without a toilet ?" The answer is this :- even today, if their father didn't build a toilet, they will live in the house without any complaint. A very simple answer. But I am not like that. I can't go to school to teach the children, from a house where there is no toilet.
When I was in father's house, the neighbours who went through the mud road would ask me about the welfare of my family members. I would reply that everything was fine. But my heart was burning inside me. At that time, I had become very lean and this aroused doubts in their minds. They didn't know the fact that I had not taken any food from my house and in mother's house, I got very little. It was during the stay in father's house that I understood how much did father's brothers and sister hated him. "Our eldest brother will be declined forever ", I often heard this statement from the members of these families. At this moment, I remember another incident. It was when I was doing my B.Sc. IInd year. Then, someone from my paternal aunt's family came to our home in Kadayiruppu and when they returned, we ( I, my brother and my sister ) also went with them. There also, I heard this statement, "the eldest brother will be perished ". When they openly declared this statement, I realised that they would be happy to see the decline of my father.
However, the B.Ed. examination results were published and I scored 569 / 1000 ie. 56. 9 %. I was satisfied in my score because I knew that the marks of B.Sc. Course was also taken into consideration, to give the internal marks. I think no one in my B.Ed. College knew that I was a distinction holder in Std X. Our Principal Sister was very kind to me and she said that there were vacancies of Teachers in Punjab ( which is in the northern part of India ) and she recommended me also with some others, to the school there. When I went home and asked my father about this, he didn't respond to it. It was noontime and he was lying on the bed. When I repeated the question, he stood up and shouted, "Punjab - do you know how far it is ? Don't tell this to me a second time ". Yes - it was very far. I didn't have the courage to go alone.
I was in mother's house towards the end of that academic year. I had applied for the 'improvement ' examination of M A Course. One day, my sister brought a letter from Mahathma Gandhi University, Kottayam. In that letter, it was informed that some more money was to be remitted to appear for the examination. I was in tears in front of my sister. "My life has gone ", saying this, I threw it off to the cot. To my surprise, the next day, my sister brought the money required for the fee. Thus, I remitted the fee and waited. Now, I write this because if I had sufficient money with me, I might have gone to the headquarters of M G University because it stood on the route to my college - St Joseph's Training College, Mannanam.
I desired to stay in the hostel, to prepare for the examination because it was difficult to learn when I stayed in mother's house. When I thought about it, I got an idea - to go to Sithara hostel, tell everything to warden and promise her to give my golden chain as fee. I discussed this matter with my sister and she agreed. Both of us went to hostel, I explained that I could stay at least two months in hostel, otherwise I couldn't learn. I added that I was ready to give the chain instead of money. She agreed and said that she wouldn't ask the golden ornament on the joining date. She would ask it only after two months.
When did I went to hostel after that ? On March 1st or April 1st ? I think it was on April 1st. On that day, I went home and arranged all my books in two bags. My brother went to the autorickshaw stand and came with one. I, my brother and sister started our journey from my house to the hostel in Kothamangalam. My mother was waving her hands and my father had nothing to say. After reaching hostel, they returned in the same vehicle. I stood there for sometime till that vehicle had gone. My sister was fourteen years and brother nineteen. But to me, they seemed small children. It was always like that. Now, a question would arouse in your mind - "how did my sister and brother live in the house without a toilet ?" The answer is this :- even today, if their father didn't build a toilet, they will live in the house without any complaint. A very simple answer. But I am not like that. I can't go to school to teach the children, from a house where there is no toilet.
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