( 5 ) The impacts of Degree results upon me

   ( 5 )   The  impacts  of  Degree  results  upon  me

     When  my  Degree  result  was  published,  I  was  extremely worn  out  and  couldn't  go  to  the  college to  know  whether  I  had  passed  or  not.   So,  I  requested  my  brother  to  check  the  result on  the  notice  board  of  the  college.  He  was  then doing his  Pre  -  degree  Ist year and  he was  aware  of  my  agony  and  despair.   On  that  day,  I  waited  fearfully  till  he  returned  from  the  college.   After  returning  from  the  college,  he  informed  me  that  I  had  passed  the  examination  with  second  class.  The  happiness  I  felt  at  that  moment  -  it  can't be  expressed  in  words.   I  was  greatly  relieved,  but  a  second  class  in  B Sc Chemistry !  I  expected  this  but  completely  broken  when  my  classmates  in  schools enquired  me  about  the  Degree  results.
     I  knew  that  I couldn't  go  to  the  next  level  - ie.  for applying  M Sc Chemistry.   But  in  my  village,  everyone  thought  that  I  was  doing  my  Course  efficiently.   When  I  received  the  marklist,  our  Professor  remarked  like  this, "it  was  better  for  you  to fail  in  the  examination".  I  remembered  the  moment  in  which  I  knew  that  I  was  the  schooltopper  in  Std  X.   I  have  experienced  the  exalted  tip  of  victory  and  the  deep  pit  of  failure.   This  might  be  the  reason  why  I  do not  enjoy  when  I  experience happiness  and  not  burst  into  tears  when  I  am  very  sad.

     I  wonder  how  much  changes  might  have  been  occurred  to  my  brain  and  each  cell  of  my  body  in  such  a  situation.   I  didn't  disclose  my  sadness  to anyone  because  all  the  people  around  me  were  speaking  against  me, saying  that  I  was  tormenting  my  parents, without  doing  any  work.