( 22 ) Final Examination of M A 1st Year

 ( 22 )  Final Examination of  M  A  1st Year

     The new house situated in the route Pothanicad - Chathamattom.   From the busstop,  I had to walk through a narrow pathway near a coconut grove and paddyfields.   Then, there was a mudroad through which I had to walk about fifteen minutes to reach home.
     How many expectations and enthusiasm was there in my mind when I went to the new house !  I had planned to make acquaintances with all neighbouring families.   I hoped that our income would be increased because in the seventyfive cents of land,  the rubber trees were fully grown and the tapping had started already.   But, when I realised that the toilet facility was not there,  I returned to hostel,  the next day itself.   I decided to concentrate in the Final examination of 1st year M A course,  though I was totally frustrated.   But,  the history repeated - how can I describe it ?  My mental condition had become worse.   Somehow or other, I studied something.   After the examination,  I was sure that I would fail.   "What can I do ?  Its my fate ", I would think.

     My hostelmates would ask me every Saturday whether I would go home or not.   Therefore,  I used to go to mother's house,  instead of my own home.   During the examination period,  I went to mother's house only on Second Saturday,  I remember. 

( 21) Continuing memories - M A 1st Year

 ( 21 )  Continuing memories  - M  A  1st Year

     After grandfather's death,  I experienced many problems in my house which ended in total chaos in my relationship with my family members and relatives.   The model examination before my M A 1st Year course was going on during that week,  I think.  I didn't write it  - the reasons are many  - anyway,  I went to college,  after the examination.   Our Professor mentioned the names of those who didn't attend the exam and asked for an explanation.   I said, "my grandfather died ".  Hearing it,  he expressed his displeasure and narrated the story of a boy, who wrote the examination eventhough his grandfather died at the first day of the beginning of the exam.   Hearing that story,  I felt it like a silly one because I knew how could a comparison can be made between that boy and I !  I was a person with a broken heart,  but the Teachers and classmates didn't know anything about me.
     In the hostel, I avoided meat,  fish, egg,  milk and milk products till the 40th day of the passing away of my grandfather.   I was served black tea and I remember how perfectly I did it,  as a part of custom of our Church.   In the meantime,  as our property was sold out,  my parents started to change to the new house which was almost near to mother's house.   I still remember that day on which my family went to that place in a jeep ( I think it was a jeep  ).  My paternal grandfather was with us, but I can't remember whether there were any other persons or not.

     When I reached the new house,  I noticed that it was almost like our old house.   But when I searched for the toilet,  my heart was again and again broken.   I said to myself, "I'm totally defeated this time ".  The neighbours were coming to our house one by one to see the newcomers and I heard my father and mother talking with them happily.   Some of the neighbours told my father that they thought we owned a Television, seeing the luggages brought in a lorry,  the day before.   My father's reply made me bewildered  -  he said, " no, we have no TV,  we are not that much rich ".  "Own a TV " -  it was not there even in my dreams. 

     

( 20 ) The memories continue - M A 1st Year

( 20 )  The memories continue  -  M A 1st Year

     After grandfather's funeral,  all of us returned to mother's house.   The house was cleaned and the food was prepared.   All of us took the meals.   What made me wonderstruck was the behaviour of grandfather's daughters.   While preparing the food,  they were talking loudly and sometimes laughing.   "Yesterday, they were crying loudly ", I thought and shared it with Rini.   In the evening,  there was prayer in the house,  as per the usual custom of our Church.   So, in the front courtyard,  I, Ruby and Rhymie sat on a bench and conversed together.   I don't remember how many people came in the evening.  
     Anyway,  a problem was there  - grandmother and Rini were alone in the house.   All of us were thinking about a solution to this problem.   Then, one of  grandmother's brother,  put forward a suggestion - he was ready to come to his sister's house every evening.   In the morning,  he would go to his workplace.   Everyone agreed to that decision as a temporary solution.   There was another problem also - grandmother was in a pitiful condition.   It was decided that each daughter should remain in her house for one week,  in turn, till the 40th day of his death.   But it is clear that aunt Molly was exempted from this responsibility.   Aunt Laly was the person who remained in the house at the first week,  I think.  
     I would always remember that house,  which looked like a hut, but with the basic facilities.   When all the people were gone from the house,  I got a chance to analyse the facilities of the house.   From the front courtyard,  there were two steps to enter into the main room. A cot was there which was used by grandfather.   Then, there was another room in which two cots were placed together.   Grandmother and Rini used these cots to sleep.   But, the two rooms were not separated completely.  The wall between two rooms was not completed.   The table in the old house was placed in the main room.   We could enter into the kitchen from these two rooms. On one side of the kitchen,  the fireplace was there.   In order to cook food,  one had to bend the knees.   Three or four korandi were there and the kerosene lamps.  From the kitchen, we could enter into a small verandah,  where the grind-stone was built.   Then, towards the last end of the verandah,  a toilet was there.   Seeing the toilet, I was greatly relieved because it was comfortable for me.   I respectfully remembered grandfather who built it though the house was a small one. 

( 19 ) M A 1st Year - the events continue

 ( 19 )  M  A  1st Year - the events continue

     We reached near mother's house in the ambulance.   I got a glimpse of aunt Molly,  crying and running towards the ambulance.   I was the last person who descended from the ambulance.   I touched his forehead.   It was frozen.   It was at that time time that I was seeing the new house which was built by grandparents,  after selling the old one and giving shares to their four children  ( Chinnamma,  my mother,  Molly,  Laly ).  The amount was not a big sum,  I remember,  but it was deposited in a bank.   After selling the property,  grandparents owned ten cents of land near the rich people's paddyfields of that area.   There,  a small house was built.  The labourers were grandfather, grandmother, aunt Chinnamma, aunt Laly - I don't remember how many persons took part in the job - but my mother was not there, I was also not present there.   

     The new house was not near the main road.   Through a small road,  the dead body was carried and placed on the main room of the house.   After that,  the staff of the ambulance returned.   All the people were crying or expressing their unexpected shock.   When all his daughters were crying,  the responsibility came upon Rini,  the yonngest daughter of aunt Chinnamma,  who lived with grandparents & also upon me.   Then you will definitely ask a question - where were the elder daughters of aunt Chinnamma  ?  I forgot to mention the details about them.   The first one,  Ruby and the second one Rhymie were working as Nurses in Chennai, Tamil Nadu.   

     Both of them had done their Pre - degree Course but I don't remember their results.   However,  one of the distant relatives of our maternal grandmother was working in Chennai,  as a Teacher.   His sister's daughter was working as Junior Nurse in a hospital.   She advised my cousins to apply for Junior Public Health Nurse course and after completing it,  they went to Chennai and started their career in a hospital. 

     

( 18 ) M A 1st Year - the events that followed

  ( 18 )   M  A  1st Year - the events that followed

     When we climbed down the steps,  we could see aunt Gauri walking the road, at a distance.   "Grandfather died ", I told her.  She stood there for sometime,  shockingly.   Near the deadbody of grandfather,  there were grandmother, aunt Chinnamma and aunt Laly, shedding tears.   My parents were there.   Mother was crying loudly.   When I looked at grandfather's dead body, I could see an innocent face - yes,  he was very innocent in his words and actions.   But his death was very pathetic,  I thought.  

     Aunt Molly was about to set out  to the hospital but she was informed that she should not come,  instead grandfather was returning to his house,  though he was in a serious stage.   I think it was informed to the relatives that they should not convey the truth about her father's death.   

     I knew that the hospital bills were paid by my father because our land was already sold out and the money was in the bank.   My father was doubtful whether the ambulance service would be available to us as we were poor and I think he had hesitation about the expense of their service.   But when he enquired about it,  he realised that it was affordable to him and we set out from there in an ambulance.   Throughout the journey, everyone was crying.   I looked at his face all the time because I knew that  I couldn't see him after one day.  

     

( 17 ) M A 1st Year - maternal grandfather

  ( 17 )  M  A  1st Year -  maternal grandfather 

     Grandfather was in hospital for about one or two weeks.   All the relatives and some neighbours from Pothanicad,  came to visit him.   I remember one particular incident  - one afternoon,  I went to hospital and found that there was aunt Laly alone to take care of grandfather.   Seeing me,  aunt Laly became very happy  &  she went to some other purposes - to pay the bill,  buy some food items or to toilet  ?  I don't remember. 

       I sat on the bed and rubbed gently on his forehead. He replied, " no problem,  nothing ".  But I knew that he was in a critical stage  - it was almost sure that he would die at any time.  I remained there for sometime thinking about his whole life.   It was at that time that kochechi  came to visit him in the hospital.   She said, " Oh !  Diya,  I didn't think that you are here ".  She talked to us and also to aunt Laly if my memory is correct.   I meant this  - aunt Laly might have returned to the ward by that time.
     One day, my father and mother were doing the job  - rubber tapping.  Aunt Chinnamma and aunt Laly might have been there in hospital,  I think.  It was aunt Laly who gave the news over Telephone to Puthiyaveettil house,  informing the news that grandfather was dead.   My mother started crying loudly at the very moment when she realised the truth.   My father told me that he was going to the hospital with my mother.   He also gave instructions  -  to take the washed clothes from the clothlines in our courtyard, spread them on the rooms and the clothlines in the back verandah,  I should send my brother to inform this sad news to my father's brother Yacob's house & Yohannan's house including paternal grandfather and grandmother and I should take dresses for one or two days.
     I quickly instructed my brother to go to my father's brother's houses on his bicycle.  I specially mentioned that he should inform the news after entering their houses  -  otherwise they would take it as an insult to them.   After sometime,  my brother returned and I was ready to go to hospital with one or two bags.   Even today,  I remember that moment when I closed the door and started journey with my brother and sister, climbing down the steps. 

( 16 ) M A 1st Year - some sad moments

( 16 )   M  A  1st  Year - some sad moments 

     It was a holiday and I had gone to my house for two days from hostel.   One afternoon,  I was sitting in the front verandah.   After sometime,  I noticed a taxi,  coming and parking in the opposite side of our house,  near the road which led to the Puthiyaveettil house.   Surprisingly, aunt Chinnamma,  aunt Laly & uncle Daniel came,  climbing the steps.   Aunt Chinnamma  and aunt Laly were crying.   Uncle Daniel explained that my maternal grandfather had got a serious injury,  he couldn't stand up and as a result, he was lying on the backseat of the taxi.   First,  they took him to Dharmagiri hospital, Kothamangalam .  After examining him,  they gave some primary treatments and then referred to MOSC Medical Mission hospital  ( Now  Medical College ) , Kolenchery.   Hearing this, my mother started crying loudly.   However,  my father and mother quickly changed dress and went to the hospital,  Kolenchery.
     We  ( I,  my brother who was doing Pre - degree IInd year and my sister who was in VIIth Std ) were left behind in our house.   I was shocked for sometime.   It was eveningtime,  so I knew that some of them would return to our house and therefore,  I had to prepare a curry for dinner.   With the help of my brother, I collected the leaves of a variety of amaranthus,  which was grown abundantly in our land and prepared a curry.   In the evening,  some of them returned  - I don't remember who they were  -  but it is sure that my father was there.   I remember this because he made a statement that he didn't know whether a curry is prepared or not.   He went to the kitchen to make sure that the curry was prepared.   After taking food, he returned to hospital,  I think.

     The thing that worried me was that he made the statement that he was not sure whether the curry was prepared or not.   I was twentyone years then and it would be an insulting factor to me when the relatives know that I don't know how to make a curry for dinner.   He knew that I could make some simple curries but when any relative or fellow citizen came to our house, he would say that he didn't know whether I could cook rice or curry.   Many times,  I was annoyed by this statement and so the distance between I & my father increased day by day.